The B-word

You know the word.  It describes everything anti-dream, magical, and amazing.  It’s pushy, ever-present, and there’s one at every wedding.  Well, I can’t think of a time when I’ve ever been happy to see one ….

It seems like B-word is always out to ruin a good time.  That same B-word is ready to  put a damper on the fun at the first chance.  B-words suck, don't they? 

The B-word, budget, is a source of stress, but it doesn’t have to ruin our good time, put a damper on our fun, or not let us have the wedding of our dreams.  As frustrating as it is not to have a money tree growing in our backyard, there are a few good aspects to having budget.  Aside from going bankrupt and having to sleep under the stars with your new spouse (not like the romantic kind of sleep under the stars, but we don’t have four walls so we don’t have a roof either kind of sleep under the stars).  So, that’s pretty extreme, what are some okay reasons for a budget so we don’t totally hate it and some of the sparkle and magic stays on your engagement.

A budget encourages personalization.  If everyone had the same amount to spend on a wedding then they would all look like whatever is on trend with different couples in the photos.  It’s the personalization, the creativity, and how we overcome some of the need/want versus budget that makes each wedding day so unique.

It makes us prioritize what’s most important in the wedding so that we focus on that aspect.  If the ceremony is the most important part then spend on your dress, the florals, and a videographer (get audio because you’ll want to hear your vows again). If a raging party is what you want then put your money on venue, entertainment, and make sure to have an open bar.  

It’s hard to stay on a budget, some are incredible at it, but most of us suck at it (let’s be honest because they’re like diets).   Here are a few tips for keeping your budget-based  stress lower: 

• Have your total spendable budget finalized before your hire any vendors, book a venue, or buy one thing.  In fact, don’t get on Pinterest until you know how much you have to spend.
• Go through your wedding checklist and cross off anything you will not be doing 
• Go through your wedding checklist, on a separate sheet of paper write down any task that includes spending money (add + gratuity next to any vendors you give a gratuity).
• ​When you have “the talk” (the one about the B-word) make certain everyone is on the same page.
  
• Once you see what you have to work with decide what’s the most important to you (and if anyone is helping you pay for the wedding get their opinion too)
• Find a budget tracker (The Knot and Wedding Wire have great ones online) or create a budget tracking sheet and stick to it.

Ever heard the saying, “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch?”  Yes, it’s a bit morbid, but very true.  Until you have the funds assembled and know for certain that your budget is solid, it’s still in the works.  It it’s an item, such as paying for your wedding gown, hair or makeup or the Rehearsal Dinner, then agreeing on a set amount should be enough as long as both parties stick to the plan.  If the budget for the dress is $700 and I decide I want one that’s $900, I need to be prepared to pay for the other $200 and alterations (unless I’m one of those amazing humans that just puts everything on and it fits).  

However, communication is underrated and taking the time to try on other dresses then expressing how we feel in a healthy and respectful manner, one that shows we’re very appreciative and are prepared to pay the difference and hold no resentment over it.  We just want to make sure it’s not going to upset the one being gracious enough to buy the dress …. and we may be surprised at the answer we get because in the end this is all about love.